Trauma: The Secrets That Bind Us
Trauma shows up years after it happens. Many times it appears in your relationships, your job, your family and continues from generation to generation. Generational trauma stays way past the initial trauma that caused so much pain. My family lived with some very dark secrets where little girls were unsafe with men who should have been protectors. This created an unstable environment to everyone it touched for years. The secrets that trauma holds is based on shame so we decide to cover it rather than expose it to the light. Exposing the pain is one of the hardest things to do and yet one of the most powerful things to do to overcome trauma. Psychology professor and best selling author Brene Brown stated “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable,” (2015, p. 58). The power can be taken by turning the unspeakable into spoken truth. Healing from trauma begins once the emotions connected to the trauma are exposed for what they really represents: Fear, Abandonment, Disrespect, Dismissed.
Trauma binds us by creating invisible chains that restrict our emotional and psychological freedom. When we experience traumatic events, our minds often retreat into protective modes, developing coping mechanisms that can unintentionally hinder our growth. These patterns may manifest as anxiety, avoidance, or self-sabotage, leading us to avoid situations that remind us of our pain or circumstances that could trigger vulnerability.
These chains often extend into our relationships, as trust and intimacy become challenging when past experiences cast long shadows over our present. We may find ourselves struggling to connect with others, fearing that opening up could lead to further hurt. This can lead to feelings of isolation, reinforcing the belief that we are alone in our pain.
Additionally, trauma can distort our perceptions, making us believe that we are not worthy of happiness or that our dreams are unreachable. This negative self-talk becomes a barrier, stopping us from pursuing opportunities or joy. The past whispers that we must stay small to avoid being hurt again.
To live our best life, it is crucial to confront and untangle these chains. This involves acknowledging our trauma, feeling the emotions we've buried, and gradually learning to let go of the fear that holds us back. Through therapy, we can explore the roots of our trauma and develop new ways to navigate our thoughts and behaviors. This process is not about erasing the past; it's about transforming it into a catalyst for growth.
When we take the brave steps to face our trauma, we can unlock the potential that lies within us. Embracing our experiences allows us to break free from the binds and create a life filled with hope, connection, and authenticity. Remember, our past does not define us; rather, it's how we respond to it that shapes our future.h the men who should have been protectors. This created an unstable environment to everyone it touched for years. The secrets that trauma holds is based on shame so we decide to cover it rather than expose it to the light. Exposing the pain is one of the hardest things to do and yet one of the most powerful things to do to overcome trauma. Psychology professor and best selling author Brene Brown stated “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable,” (2015, p. 58). The power can be taken by clarity. The healing can begin once the trauma is exposed for what it really represents.
