Teen Mental Health: It’s a Family Matter
Over the years I’ve been working with teenagers who have been diagnosed with various mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorders, and Conduct Disorders.
Many times I’ve heard please help my son/daughter because:
They talk back
They don’t listen
They yell in the home
They slam doors
They don’t follow the house rules
Some could say that’s “teenage” behavior and I would like to challenge that it is typically learned behavior. I say typically because working with families has never been a one size fits all situation. I know I’ll hear some naysayers. However, unless you’ve been in my shoes working with a hurting family who is trying to save their child from taking their life, you truly don’t understand how challenging it is. It’s a life or death scenario so all bets are off and we are all doing the best we can to save them from themself. If you are living with a child or teenager who exhibits these behaviors like disrupting your families sense of security in the home, please know it doesn’t have to be that way. Also know though, I have never worked with a teenager whose family didn’t also need to do their own soul searching and homework as well. Some parents receive the news that they too have to do the work in order for their child’s life to improve. Others may not love it but once they take the time to do the work, they see the value it brings to everyone in the household. I can see how it can be difficult to realize the work is a family “assignment”. However the work needs to be done by everyone in the house and is well worth it. Your family is so worth it. One of the hardest parts of the process of healing is learning to identify and express your feelings with each other as a family. The other challenge families typically face is learning a new way to do things to improve communication with consistency, calmness, and collaboration. Basically, it’s a new frame of mind that can turn things around for the better. A conversation has gone like this: “Well that’s always how we’ve done it and that’s how my parents did it”. My response is “How is that working for you?”. The response is two sided because either the family will get offended and they move on to the same old way of doing things. Then there’s the response that has made me a true believer that effective, positive change is possible and families can recover from the trauma of having a child/teenager with mental illness. It doesn’t have to be over and things don’t have to stay the same. There is hope. The sooner a family gets help for their pride and joy the more successful the outcome. There is hope. Find a therapist near you to help your family recover from the pain of mental illness. There is hope.
